I am having a hard time getting myself to do anything. I just want to listen to music and daydream, but that is not a life. Not to mention incompatible with doing well in med school.

Every time I force myself to do something I don't want to do, I feel like I am drowning. It is very uncomfortable.

I try to motivate myself. I think about how I will be in a bad situation if I can't get focused. I think about how guilty I feel when I don't do my work. I think about how great it will be when I'm done with this journey and am a practicing psychiatrist. I think about how proud I would be if I honored all my classes for the semester.

All this does nothing. I can't focus. I can't remember to do my work. Hours and hours pass by with me just staring off into space, listening to my music and browsing Facebook.

I think that this is a combination of ADHD, too many depressive episodes damaging my brain, and avolition from the schizo part of my illness. I have very poor frontal lobe functioning is what I think.

It sucks and I hate it. I want to be successful. I want to be proud, rather than ashamed, of who I am as a human being.

I feel so trapped and helpless because of this.

Any advice?