Pink soil,

I would definitely not suggest going easy on yourself....you have to start being tough on yourself...knock yourself in the head a few times & knock some sense into yourself. My husand is just the same way & I let him get away with it....I even went along with it because it was the easy way to live. I knew better but all the fighting wasn't worth it at the time.

Now I got into control & have since cut all excess spending...no frills & nothing that isn't needed. Finally just in budget but that's tight. We have been married for 32 years & he basically ruined the marriage....I can't trust him & won't even allow him to move into my house in Kentucky. I will not deal with his irresposnible money handling & now I fight to the death his stupidity...& won't let him get away with anything...not one thing.

That is what you have to do with yourself. Get together the amount of $ you actually have to spend everymonth & the actual bills you have to pay that HAVE to be paid. Once you have some money over that (if you do) then you can look at the other nice things you have in your life & add them back in one at a time until the amount of money you have matches the outgo. At that time, you have to STOP all other spending. Yes, it takes self discipline....but it's something you MUST do if you don't want to destroy yourself.

Bflatgary, expressed it perfectly...it's a matter of budgeting & not using your debit card. Doing things yourself that you would have others do & get rid of the "non-essentials".

You can do it, but you have to really want to & really know that you have to instead of continuing along, thinking that you have always been bailed out in the past....there will come a time where "this too shall pass" won't pass anymore. Being responsible for finances & debt is the one thing in life that Doesn't pass....it haunts you forever & don't forget it.

I am digging my way out of my finances & my husbands irresponsible spending...it isn't ok & it doesn't feel good...you think you feel bad now....it can only get worse if you don't stop NOW.

Debbie