It worries me that when my good friend came to me and said that he actually enjoys fighting with me because it is the only way he knows how to express himself. We consider ourselves as very good friends and met in college. He's been there for me for many intimate issues dealing with hard family and dating issues. When it comes to getting to know one another's personally traits and what bothers us we get into these horrible fights. We would scream and yell over the phone and it is so exhausting. The main problem that I have with him is that he tends to not understands that his actions affects other people and he needs to think before he say and does anything. Many times he's offended me and the pattern starts with me confronting him and the fighting starts all over again. He gets defensive and I'm trying to express my feelings and it’s an hour into the fighting it’s not getting anywhere. I'll end up hanging up on him and later on in the night we'll talk things over.

He said that it’s not really the fighting that he likes but how we resolve things. It’s the resolution and how we become closer that he likes. I ask him can't we get to know one another with out all the fighting. I told him that I've explained to him many times what bothers me and he continues to forget it and I'll just get my feelings hurt all over again. Sometimes I really feel like we are fighting as though we're like a couple. He said that he doesn't know how to talk about his feelings unless its after we're done fighting.

I find it so selfish and it’s a way for him a seek attention from me. I sometimes feel like he would provoke a fight to stir something in our friendship. Sometimes our friendship is so overwhelming.