Hello starryprince: Congratulations on getting your Master's Degree! That is a great accomplishment! You mentioned you are in therapy. And, of course, therapy is really the place to process all that has happened with you.

No, I don't believe you are the problem nor are you wrong in your feelings. But, at the same time, I don't know as there is really anything you can do to deal with your mother's passiveness, other than working through how you feel about it in therapy.

Your mother, and your grandmother, have had many years to become the people they are. Imagining that there should be something you could do to change either of them (if you could just figure out what it is) is simply putting pressure on yourself to try to figure something out. It's a chimera.

From my perspective, the best thing you can do here is to focus on finishing up with your studies & getting a job so that you can move out on your own.