I don't believe in holding on to regrets. We all do the best we can at the time. 
I'm sorry you're feeling this way, though. But please don't be so hard on yourself. We all make mistakes and bipolar is a *****. It's not all your fault. ((HUGS)) 
__________________
...Out of night and alarm
Out of terrible dreams
Reach me your hand!
This is the meaning that we suffered in sleep:
The white peace of the waking.
~Edna St. Vincent Millay, "Song of the Nations"~
Diagnoses: Bipolar 2, OCD, Chronic Worrywart 
Meds: Lithium (reducing), Trileptal, Latuda, Risperdal, Klonopin and Xanax PRN
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