When I was finishing grad school, I took Ritalin temporarily in combination with my bipolar meds and I was still stable and able to finish my studies with honors. Maybe an ADHD medication would help you? Have you talked to your pdoc about that possibility?

Have you had your Vitamin D levels checked recently? That's another thing to consider. You sound like you are mildly depressed. Are you exercising as well? Getting a lot of aerobic exercise can be just as effective as taking an antidepressant, as you probably know.

You shouldn't be ashamed of yourself no matter what you accomplish. If one path doesn't work for you, I'm sure you'll find something that will. HUGS!