You're right. I always had a daily routine and I maintained it for the most part whilst my kids were young - till their mid teens. I battled a husband who grew up in an absolute pigsty - cat poo/wee, broken furniture from kids wrestling, filthy kitchen with dirty pots and plates everywhere, and his mother instilled in him that this was how 'normal' people live. She and he did everything to undermine my routine to my kids and they won - hence my giving up in their teens. As the depression became set in I gave up and lived like that for a while, hating everything about how I was living. Since leaving, once the kids became adults and now living on my own, I have a routine and when I'm ok I stick to it which lets me have those times when I just cannot do it, without a great deal of impact.

And you're right about the mess impacting the depression even more. Its a vicious cycle.