Just so it's clear. I regret it. I HATED being that person. My personal goal is understand WHY I allowed myself to go there. I had never done anything like that before and if there is any living proof that relationships with married people are harmful, I can attest.

I'm hoping to create a safe place to talk about this phenomenon of once being "the mistress" or "other woman" or "other man, with the intention of helping people END the affairs they are involved in, recover from the trauma and ultimately understand themselves so they aren't available to toxic relationships.

I'm exploring, with the help of my therapist and reading this forum, what leads to this role in someone's infidelity, how self abandonment leads to a sense of internal negotiation to enjoy even the most basic every day experiences, and how larger experiences, such as romantic relationships, being parents, or having a new job are even more complicated for people living in a state of Self-Abandonment.

This phenomenon of being the "other" is so much more complex and deserves more attention in the self-help community. So far, the vast majority of resources seem like a gathering place to publicly shame someone who comes clean and wants to heal, to slap a scarlet letter on someone and damn them to hell.

To anyone involved with married or otherwise committed people, lets help you steer toward a healthier path away from that person and the sad life and on to a brighter path you can feel proud of.