You've studied some psychology, but you didn't say if you have actually received treatment. If you are still enrolled as a student, there may be counseling available through your school. Would you consider giving it a try? Books can help, and understanding what happened to you makes it more something that you can deal with, but we need support to recover and heal. You can reclaim your life and not have to be hurt anymore by anyone, even yourself.

TC,
Rap