If I were the mother I would have written each child a letter for them to read AFTER my death to let them know what you said she said to you. It's always safer having it come from the person who has died then the one who is living.

That's why I'm slowly letting little things sink in with my daughter little bit & piece at a time from me about me so she will have a better understanding of what was behind everything that happened.

I'm sorry your wife didn't handle the situation better before she died either & left you to be the messenger