Quote:
Originally Posted by kamikazebaby
Feeling erased is a terrible feeling. Especially when it's the person closest to you.  I know it doesn't probably feel like it or matter much because it's not her, but you are still worthwhile. Even if she chooses to walk away, you will still be worthwhile and someone will be lucky to find a girlfriend as caring and as willing to make the effort as you are.
Sleeping can be good, too. You're probably burning through a lot of energy with what you're going through right now, and sleep will help you bear the stress better.
Well, since you've thought about it when calmer and don't think it would put more stress on you, maybe going with just one thing/change could even help. I just didn't want to see you make big decisions in the heat of the moment without having thought them through, or experience additional pressure that might put you over the threshold of what you can tolerate. (I've certainly done that - not happy times!) |
Today the mutual friend gave her some tough love. I know I said I'd stop having the mutual friend reach out, but we were so hopeful. Apparently she told her to "stop being so stupid and unforgiving" and that "Becoming (substituting my forum name in place of my real name for privacy) is trying to mend things and you aren't which is NOT like you at all!" At which point my ex apparently said she was going to re-evaluate her behavior, think, and reconsider mending the relationship in one way or another. I think we broke her wall down a bit and that the real her is slowly surfacing again. I'm a little more comfortable because I feel like she won't be gone forever now. Our mutual friend smacked some sense into her.
I have been sleeping A LOT. Even when I sleep through most of the night (waking up here and there), I was still able to sleep nearly all day yesterday and today (I took today off work too). So I must be really stressed/depressed and needing it. Just don't want to put my job at risk so I'm going in tomorrow and the rest of the week. I can have the weekend to rest more if I need to.
Right now I think I have to focus on finding a new job. I'm just not sure where I want it to be yet. Locally may be better though so I don't have to worry about moving right away either though. I'm not really sure right now. I'm a bit stuck in a sense.
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