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Originally Posted by xRavenx
I feel for you. ((HUGS)) It sounds like a mixed episode to me too. It can absolutely still be a mixed episode, even when you are not having suicidal thoughts. It sounds like you have many symptoms of depression, and the fact you do not feel like yourself at all and can see the elements of mania in this episode all point to it being mixed episode. Do you feel more of the depressive symptoms or more mania at this point in time? Sometimes with mixed episodes, I feel both the mania and depression being equally as intense. Other times, the mania may be stronger with depressive features or vice versa. How intense would you say this episode is compared to your usual episodes? I hope the pdoc has some good suggestions for you and hope you feel better soon.
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Thanks. It is mixed, mainly manic which is elevating. My cognition is poor. I haven't had a mixed episode in a long time. It has been much, much worse in prior episodes where I was floridly psychotic, disassociating, terrified I was being followed to culminate in a society commiting homicide.
So has it been worse before. Hell, yes. Thank you for asking me that. I'm not feeling optimistic but I'm mostly lucid and I don't want to kill myself and I don't think a secret society is after me.
That's my current version of seeing the glass half full. I'll take it.
I have my daughter tomorrow for the next five days. I have family support. We will be ok.
xo