On this, I agree that I think you may be doing the right thing. just judging from how you feel and how things are going at home, I think you should separate for now at the very least. whether you go back ever or not will have to be seen but when it comes to the incident with your child, if you go back to keep or make your son feel safe and secure I see nothing wrong in that but going back does not have to be an all or nothing thing. Also having your son come to you isn't a bad idea either in those cases and might be the solution. I dunno if you're bpd bp or what combination of acronyms describing disorders or mental illness but I think what matters in my mind is that the relationship is unhealthy.

To be honest, the relationship could either be the cause of some of the seemingly pd/mi related symptoms or at the very least exacerbating existing ones. I see you finding your independence of the relationship as only being a good thing, even if ultimately you get back together. You're very enmeshed in the dysfunction of the relationship and without getting distance from it, you cannot even come close to making an objective decision on how to go forward.

I fully stand behind you on your decision to continue living separate