I have been very upset with myself about my feelings for my bf's dad. Even though I try to repressed these feeling I can't help it. I dislike him very much.
When my boyfriend introduced to me his parents, I already wasn't too crazy about him. He speaks way too much, and wants always to have attention of people. But well, he's my bf's dad, so it wasn't a big deal. I thought he was just old, but that he seemed decent and open minded. However, the first impression was far from the reality. My BF told me stories of his dad being a physical and psychological abuser. He also left his wife alone in the house with four small kids and went party for days. My BF told me that he was so scared of his dad, that many times he peed in his pants when his dad caught him doing something naughty.
My BF alway says: now he behaves like he's an angel, but when he was we had hell. He's now 76 and had many health issues.
Because my BF and his parents are so close, they skype everyday, sometimes 3 times a day. Every time I hear his dad's voice, something inside me shakes, it is a very negative feeling and I hate it. I even leave the room sometimes. I tried to repress it, and think like he is an old man, who made mistakes, and that everyone can make mistakes. But still I can't stand him.
It is even worse as some times we have to go to visit them, and he keeps behaving like a spoiled brat, and treats his wife like a maid. It makes so sick, I hate to go. I also caught him speaking bad about me to his wife. It was one day that I hurt my back, so I stayed in bed a little longer: and he goes and says: this woman sleeps too much. We were in our place, and I alway wake up early.
I don't know what to do, I feel so guilty of feeling like that. How can I look at my bf's face knowing deep inside that I dislike his dad so much? What can I do to love him?