I'm almost positive I'm going through a mixed episode.


I am puzzled by a couple things. Wondered if anyone has insight.


I'm not suicidal. I've had thoughts and I've attempted before...but I made a pact with my boyfriend. I will never do that again. So I'm not sitting here planning my death. Can I still be mixed.


I have surfed the Internet for two days straight. In jeans and a sweatshirt in my boyfriend's bed. I've slept some but my sleep is always erratic unless I'm in a depressive episode, in which I will sleep 16 hours a day.


It's very unlike me to be so still. Two days in bed, one activity. Really? I don't even know if I'm depressed. I've had lots of tears, including yesterday at pdoc's office.


I just don't care about things right now. Then I'll have tears pouring down my face, silently. And I don't know why. It's not hormonal. I'm on my meds.


I feel elements of mania. I recognize it. But it feels deep inside. Maybe that's why I'm so still.


This is so unlike me. It feels like I'm waiting for something to happen but I don't know what it is.


I feel tears again.


Any ideas? Just go with it, ride it out, I guess. It can be tons worse.