Hey there bipolar family,

Have you ever had episodes where you beat yourself up? Like say the most horrible things to yourself, and wallow in it and cry?

I just went through that. It was a very short episode (thank god) but it hurt like hell and was so painful. Each tear felt like knives against my face.

So what did I do?

I took a long shower. I changed my clothes and threw the other clothes in the washer and started cleaning up my space. I also found some wonderful lotion from Bath and Body Works and lathered myself up in it after the shower. Now I smell like a Vanilla Bean

Now that my space is somewhat clean, I lit some Tibetan incense and am listening to the Nature Sounds and music station on Pandora.

I guess the point is, if you are doing a number on yourself. Try to stop what you are doing. Just stop. Or force yourself to. Then do something you love. Whether it be reading, writing, watching a favorite tv show. Mine would be taking a shower because I love being immersed by water. Oh and I re-read some positive affirmations I posted on here a little while ago.

There is hope. Don't despair. I still don't love myself, but at least I am not talking down to myself or beating myself up anymore.

Hugs.