Thank you... I'm in a lot of physical pain because of my disorder and it makes this all much worse. My muscles tense up to very tight degrees and it feels very painful. It can happen internally too.

I have lots of tremors associated with this disorder and they can get much more violent now over the years. I'm fearing one day I can't make my parents proud of me or anyone, because of this disorder.

I know I sound crazy, but my mom got upset for being in this pain. My ex got mad at her and hated her for it.

It's apparent how much others pull me around like I'm a ragdoll for their own devices to using me. I don't ask for it and I'm not passive about it, I just am finding myself always in this position of helplessness when I'm at the mercy of someone else not by choice.

My beliefs toppled on me about my child. I am so worried how I'll never be mentioned or even hopefully get a chance to have any involvement with my child that will be born next year in February I think or marchish.

This life has been cruel to me and I ask little in return.

I appreciate for what you said.