I'm tired of having these floods of depressing thoughts, unbearable anxiety, mixed feelings, self doubt, no confidence. I want to enjoy myself enjoy the gym again enjoy hitting pads in martial arts, I want to go out with my friends again and not have to worry what others think. I want to enjoy myself. I want to socialize. Meet pretty women make outstanding friendships. I want to hike climb a mountain or ride my mountain bike without any worries. I want this new me to have learned forgive myself but not forgotten what made me what I became and how much I despised it. I want to eliminate all thoughts of self harm and suicide. I want to love myself again. I want to be in a relationship, see the world and not be confined to my apartment. I want to get a pet I want to have my mom see me get married make my sisters proud and have my niece and nephew look at me in awe. I want to lift boulders and jump obstacles. I am tired of being depressed.

I WANT TO LIVE!