Good morning, Avaa,

I'm glad you are here, please don't apologize, when I read your letter, I was so glad that you posted it. Cruelty is cruelty, and it is damaging whether it comes from someone's mouth or actions.

It took me a long time for me to work out my issues with my mother - and I too feel very strange when I am around her. I have to really hang onto who I understand myself to be so that I don't fall into that role she would so love for me to play. It took a long time for me to really learn who I really am as opposed to who she thought I was. I learned in that process that I am really someone I can be proud of. I learned that her putting me into that box of who she defined me as - kept her safe for some reason. I'm still not sure why, and frankly that's none of my business. But I know that I am not that box, I'm much more. Much of this was discovered in therapy. And all of it was accompanied by a lot of patience. The damage that she did to you didn't happen all in one day, it won't resolve all in one day. My therapist helped me to see that I could really enjoy the life I was making for myself - and work on the issues with my mother a little at a time as I was ready and able to do so. It happened just like that. The neat thing is that my mother has not changed. I changed. For the much better!! And I'm at peace. I hope you find the same.

Beth