My gf, who I have gone years without speaking to several times over our life-long friendship, because she says horrible things to me said something that's ringing in my ears. She said "Nobody wanted to be divorced more than you."

She's implying that I really wanted to end my relationship and have done everything in my power to make that happen.

My h says I found his Achilles heel and focused on that letting it drive me to the moon.

BPD traits are to push love away then desperately try to keep it from leaving.

I'm so numb I just don't even know any more.

Can you believe all I am asking for is for my h to initiate sex with me in a way that turns me on- for example, when we get into bed together to go to sleep, he should kiss and hold me and rub my body, taking passion further until some sparks ignite. That's all I was ever asking for!

I am a crying wreck today. Haven't eaten, crying all day, miserable. I can't really work. I don't really function. I have to look presentable in two hours to meet one customer for an appointment. All I have to do is look somewhat normal. I don't even really have to speak.

So much for the Love Your Spouse Challenge! Couldn't have five good days.