You are not your illness. Even if you made bad choices, you're still a good person at heart. Otherwise you wouldn't feel ashamed.

You can't change how other people feel, so it's fruitless to worry about it. It just causes more anxiety than you need at the moment. Be compassionate with yourself and give yourself some credit for working on getting better.

Only you can decide what you want to do job-wise. Choose what would make you happiest and go for it.