I rarely feel understood on a down-to-earth level, by my husband. I am so frustrated by this. Lately, I have been in a rage and easily annoyed, or easily hurt, by him. I am trying to figure out why, and the conclusion I have come to is the usual: my husband is sometimes emotionally controlling, or doesn't have healthy emotional boundaries with me during difficult times; also, when I ask he give a bit more space, he becomes distant and uncaring (sometimes).

I generally feel stuck in life. I feel stuck in a life I am not happy with, and which does not fit my personality. I am not a person of routine without a creative outlet. I am not a very social person. I also enjoy more travel and free time than I have had, since moving back to the sprawled-out, heartless/ headless city of Los Angeles. I hate it here.

I think I need to rant, and I need to feel heard, and supported in some way. I need help making changes. I am 30 years old, and I feel stuck and controlled. I hate it. I am not in contact with relatives, nor do I have siblings. I got married this last year, and I have gone from feeling an odd expectation to be gender-specific in my marriage experience, to feeling resentful that I just do not fit that model of "wife." I never wanted to get married when I was younger, but it made sense I marry my current husband, because I love him and I like who he is. It's just the emotional part which becomes frustrating and confusing.

I feel I have nothing to do with my life. I feel my life is worthless, and I do not enjoy it. I have this week off, but I don't feel like I'm off from work in the least. I do not feel my quality of life is higher or more desirable at home, in comparison with how it is at work. I am a caretaker in someone's home, and their home feels healthier and safer to me than my own. I need home to be a safe place, or I need to move to a place which feels safer than this ****** city. The only reason I came back was to be with my husband (then- non-married partner).