I have one sleep and one dream issue I would like to ask for feedback if anyone has had similar experiences. I will try to keep this short.
I take the bulk of my psych meds at or near bedtime, so that might be causing this but I have been on my meds for a while now and this is a new thing. If I fall asleep before 10PM, I will wake up between 5 and 6 AM and feel relatively awake for the day. If I fall asleep between 10 and 11, I am up around 9 and feel tired during the day but in the evening I feel better. Later than that and I am usually up between 11-1 and am dog tired during the day. None of these seem to have any effect on when I can fall asleep the next night.
When I can fall asleep is usually dictated by my anxiety and psychosis allowing me to be able to get ready for bed. I have extreme dental fears that sometimes keeps me from brushing my teeth until very late at night. I also get self-harm compulsions at night which don't help either. I learned how to self-hypnotize and that sometimes helps a little.
I sometimes take melatonin to force me to sleep but it seems to fight with remeron or gabapentin and causes vivid dreams leading to poor sleep. I also light high quality lavender candles which helps with the anxiety but not the rest of it. I have tried lots of other supplements that didn't work.
Things like Ambien are out of the question. My daughter, who weighs 110 pounds, was able to slam me down on the pavement outside and ER when she had a bad reaction to it. She and her daughter lives with me and I don't want to risk freaking out because I could do serious damage.
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I am not one to put any stock into dreams or an deeper meaning, they have always been weird non-sequiturs to the point that if you made a TV show about it, it would be stranger than Twin Peaks. That doesn't bother me and I don't go searching for meaning or do much thinking on it because having an image of a dream while awake is the only thing that triggers my seizure disorder.
I have had the same dream three times this week which is odd in and of itself since I rarely have the same dream twice over many years much less three inside a week. Honestly, I remember little of it when I wake but during it I recognize it. All I can remember is a long hall with lots of doors, one open and the room is dark. There could be more but I don't know. Whatever else goes on scares me enough to wake me(and I am heavily medicated at night).
The issue is that the dream leaks into the real world. I feel something evil in the dream and it continues when I wake, usually when I wake from any dream it is gone, even if I try to remember it. I am frozen in bed for some time and can feel something evil all around me. I literally can't move and it takes some time for me to be able to sleep again.
I am not one to get scared, no scratch that, terrified easily and have been in dangerous situations in the military that I never thought twice about. Perhaps this is a new manifestation of my psychosis. Has anyone had anything similar?
Thank you for reading this and I apologize for its length.
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PDD with Psychotic Features, GAD, Cluster C personality traits - No meds, except a weekly ketamine infusion
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