I'm not happy with my weight but I don't hate myself. I gained about 35 pounds since last November and still haven't figured out why I gained so drastically. I've been on Invega for 2 years so I don't think it's that. Although it's possible that raised prolactin is also causing weight gain.

Don't get me wrong, my diet is ******, but it's always been ****** and I haven't gained more than ten pounds so I don't get it. It's very frustrating.

However, at the same time, I feel indignant every time I think about my weight. I mean, why should I be forced to be skinny in order to feel good about myself? Why must I fall prey to society's expectations? Why, as a woman, am I letting my self worth be measured in body size? So really, I haven't. Every time I look at myself and say ugh, I'm so fat, I immediately think to myself "who cares?" It doesn't change who I am inside. Just because I'm not attractive anymore doesn't mean I'm less of a person. And anyway, who am I trying to impress? Any man who wouldn't like me because of my weight isn't worth my time.

So right now I'm desperately trying to lose just ten pounds so my clothes fit better, not to look better. Because I just bought a whole new wardrobe and I don't want to have to buy yet another whole new wardrobe.

I love myself and **** anyone who thinks I'm too fat.