I can relate! I'm also an daughter of a Dependent, Avoidant, and Guilt-inducing mother. I'm her only child and because she refused to ever learn anything about dealing with finance, business, using an ATM card, legal issues, etc. I am her Attorney=in-Fact and Caregiver though our relationship is stressed to the max.

The best thing I can tell you is take care of YOURSELF! There is no way you can get your parents to change. You are only in control of your own life. Taking care of someone with Dependent Personality Disorder makes us Codependents - another problem in itself. If you haven't already, read up about codependency and how you can break the pattern and not end up causing similar grief to your loved ones. Codependents Anonymous is a support group to help people like us learn how to break the dysfunctional patterns we've learned from growing up with or living with to someone else's personality disorder, addiction, or abuse. I have been struggling like you for over 30 years from taking care of my shy, anxious, depressed parents scared to death I would grow up and leave them. Now I'm nearly 50 and it's a major problem they haven't let me individuate fully so I am working hard on it now. If you don't know what codependence means you can find out from this website or w w w . coda . org - Codependents Anonymous website. If the 12-step format doesn't suit you, just pick up a book on Codependence and read a bit on the web to learn how you can begin your recovery from taking care of Dependent (DPD) parents. Hang in there!!!