My worst experience (apart from some crazy pastors) was two weeks after I had started a new anti-depressant and one week after being discharged from hospital. This was before I was diagnosed BP. At the time I was diagnosed PTSD, MDD and BPD.

My mood was very dark, I was incredibly agitated, not sleeping, racing thoughts, volatile and suicidal. I was planning to kill myself that day but decided to go to my psychiatrist appointment and be completely open to save myself. I felt I could no longer control myself and expected to be committed.

When I told my pdoc that I was planning to kill myself that day she said, "I can't help you with that" I begged her to get me off the AD but she insisted I increase the dose and told me to come back in two weeks. I told her I wouldn't be alive in two weeks. She just said goodbye and rushed me out of the office. Within two hours I had taken a very serious overdose and was lucky to survive.

My guess is that she bought into the stigma around BPD and assumed I was saying that to get attention and that I just loved being IP. Stupid pdoc.