So my wife and I married almost a year ago. We are both women so that in itself is stressful. We struggle in a lot of ways. We both have mental illness but she is undiagnosed. We've both been very depressed and she is angry. I am diagnosed bipolar, borderline personality disorder, ptsd, ocd, anxiety. I feel bad because she's a free spirit and I'm insecure, needy and clingy. I have a hard time trusting. Over time this behavior from me has left her feeling angry and resentful. However I'm not totally at fault because she knows her ex is a huge trigger for me and she has continued to have some type of contact with her from just sneaking to text all the way to having her over for a party with us where she spent the night and stayed all day the next day. I didn't say no. But I did say it made me very uncomfortable and nervous but that I was trying for her. At any rate I've had several "breakdowns" over the last year for various reasons. During two of these I once shoved her and once punched her in the side. This is not like me at all. I've never been violent and have been a victim of an abusive relationship myself so I'm totally against it. She told me I need to get back on the meds. So yesterday I went back to the Dr and got new prescriptions. I also mentioned to her that she might think about seeing someone too because she's depressed. She completely shut me down. We constantly argue. Even when I'm trying to empathize with her she hears negativity. She's so angry. She says I've trapped her and that it's just better she doesn't speak to or see any of her friends to avoid any outbursts from me. I've never told her she couldn't see her friends I've only asked she not be around her ex. I feel guilty that I've made her so miserable but I also feel it's some kind of manipulation. I really don't know anymore. I don't want her to shut everyone out and resent me for the rest of my life. I am trying to work on myself so I can help her feel better. We can't talk about any of this without screaming at each other. I feel like everything I say is wrong. When I try to be there for her she hears me putting her down or mothering or patronizing when I'm not trying to do any of those things. I'm so lost. It's like I'm the crazy one and I'm the one causing all the problems so I'm the one who has to do all the changing but if I tell her that her angry tone or her depression needs to be addressed she gets even more angry. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to break up the marriage. I want us to try. But it just seems like a dead end. Help!