Jinny, Well YOu know, when one person is "sick" in a family, the whole family is "sick" too. It takes a long time to take the focus of pain away from outside of us, where we can never fix it and learn to deal with our pain..our own resentment and anger at ourselfs for noting being some surpreme god....recovery isn't a sudden event, its a process. It took a long time to get where we were, and will take a long time to recover.

You know even the chaos can feel familar to you and the rest of your family, its a way of living you've all grown used too.

I find I read a daily meditation from someone called Melody Beattie. She talks about co-dependency and letting go of all the ways we've become accustomed to living and talks about taking care of ourselfs and not everyone else.

Some people find eventually that those they were seeking to get better for, were actually being held back by them instead. Or at least, being accomplises to it all.

Despair is often the forerunner to freedom and a new sense of joy. Despair is always hard, but its necessary.