Im sorry, that sounds difficult. I'm glad you sought a second opinion about it.

I would feel uncomfortable, frustrated and insecure in a relationship like that.
I would wonder, can he be an effective T for me if he finds me attractive? Is his attraction to me distracting him?
Might he terminate me if I continue to talk about it?

He could discuss healthy boundaries.
He could at least explore this with you- why do I find myself in relationships like this?

He could discuss this-
"After two sexually dead long term relationships over 8 years and 2 years of this with the therapist, I wonder sometimes, where to I find all these men who are so attracted to me and yet have such iron willpower not to take any action."

Frack, do you stay with this T because you are attracted to him? I wonder, why do you stay?
Is he a good therapist in other ways? Does he have supervision?

I have had a relationship similar to this with a T. We became intimate. Afterwards, he was cagey like your T when I asked him what happened to the intimacy? He said things like, "I'll let you know.." (I'll let you know if I feel I want us to be intimate again.)

I became a stressed out mess. Had I done something wrong? Was he angry with me? I finally decided that I would not let him determine how my life would go. I told him that *I* decided we would not be intimate again.

Your T has told you he doesn't want to discuss his feelings/attraction to to you any further. You get to decide if you are willing to put up with that.

Hope therapy works out for you.