> is my subdued personality more to do with isolating than a growth in maturity and thus more accepting of life?

I think it is hard for an observer here to tell. My mother became more "subdued" when she got older, but I think that was more defeat than anything else. On the other hand, I think I am growing up (at long last), but that is not just "more accepting of life." It is coming with hard work and remembering and understanding of what is going on now and has been.