I don't believe you belong in a hospital. That is generalizing what I said. I believe it is a safer option with your current thoughts. And lets not talk openly about how easy it is to kill yourself. It's very triggering. And I too believed there was no good psychologist out there for me. But after years of therapist, quitting, therapist, quitting, psychologist, quitting, etc. I found one. Don't give up hope.