My girlfriend and I have been dating for more than two years now. We both love each other very much and even had a baby for three months and aborted it because we are not married yet and we are still going to school to get a our degree's.
My girlfriend likes making friends and she is a good listener. Whenever she talks to male friends I get jealous and I keep thinking about it whenever im not with her that oh she must be talking with him or she must be with him. She started liking this guy who she thinks he is cute and spending time with him at school while im in class or talking and texting to him all the time. We had argued about it and she said its nothing but just friends but I always doubted her and checked her phone that she made any calls to him or texted him and after a while she completely stopped talking or texting him.
Then at work she was talking to this black dude and giving rides to him to home after work in the night and again we had a fight over this issue and she stopped talking to him also. We did not have a child yet.
Then after six months I thought everything is fine and we had a baby and had to abort it since we were not married. Until I recently found out that she is talking this gay security guy who works with her at work. She calls him, texts him and they both bring coffees to each other and hang out. He gave her a pen as a gift. And she go to see him on her off days when im at work and talk to him after saying good night to me at night. While I was checking her phone and want to organize her contacts and I found out this guy number and asked her who’s number is this and she lied to me saying it’s a girl number and she snatched the phone away from me and locked it.
I called that number from my phone and I found out that was a guy. I caught her couple of times when she was with me and texting to him. And I caught her red handed talking to him in the parking lot while she said to me she is still working late night at 12pm and she gave me a story of some trouble and that’s why this security guy was here. And she was erasing the messages from him somehow I managed to checked the messages and I saw these messages (I like hanging with you, Are you sleeping I think you need coffee, I will came to visit you today, It does I feel so smart! Good morning, Wow you can spell my name im shocked, Im using your pen, I c you, Good night sleep tight) when I saw these messages these are so disturbing to me and we fought and she told me that she was hiding from me because I get mad if she talks to any guy friends even if he is straight or gay. And she said he is a gay and they are just friends and nothing much going on between them. And said that she love me more than anything else and for god sake I had a baby with you and im committed to you.
After we fight over she calls me and talks to me very sweet and leaves me messages like this (Baby I love you more than anything, You are the apple of my eye you are my present and future, Baby now im thinking about our baby he would have been 4 months, I miss him, I miss you baby) when she writes messages like these I feel that is true and she loves to me death, but I still have doubt whenever she tells me something where I feel she is lying to me.
Is there anything I should worry about? What is happening im I just insecure or jealous. She even told me once that im very insecure person. Im really confused. What should I do so that I can trust her completely? Or am I created this problem myself doubting her all the time when she was talking to guy friends. I don’t know I can’t sleep properly and im thinking about it all the time. What can I do to improve our relationship and my doubts and insecurity? I have totally committed to her and want to get married to her and love her to death. Please help.