Hey Goldi-- welcome to the forum.

Sounds like you have a good connection with your T. That is interesting that your T directly asked you about the trauma-- but I think it's really great that he left it completely in your court after that-- so that you have the ability to choose if and when you want to explore that. Chances are since it is out there, it will come up at some point-- however, don't feel pressured.... talk when you are ready.

You are not "making" a big deal out of stuff that happened to you'' it is a big deal-- and the way you responded in regards to your anxiety was your natural response to becoming reacquainted with the trauma. You didn't "make" it to be anything-- allow yourself to be entitled to your feelings (easier said than done, of course).

As far as feeling embarrassed for how you acted in front of your therapist-- remember, therapy is the place for us to be able to experience all of these feelings. How else can we work on them if they don't come out somewhere? You don't know how many times I have acted like a complete baby in front of T.... or acted mean to him... It can be very embarrassing, indeed... but is a safe place to express this stuff.

I told my T this week that I don't feel "entitled" to have turned out the way that I did-- because things weren't that bad. I have told him this often... that because my neither my parents nor anyone else has ever physically, sexually, or emotionally abused me, that I have no right to have the problems that I do. Things could have been a lot worse so I do not validate my own feelings.

You are not alone in the way that you feel.