This is domestic violence. I am not attacking you, just kind of flummoxed that thus far in this thread we are focusing on what she is doing to you when you have been physical. I've read dozens of threads from women who have been hit by their husband and in every one of those threads, the husband has been demonized by those who replied. "Once an abuser, always an abuser!" they cry. I expect that your being a woman has had something to do with the lack of outcry.

Personally, I don't look at people who become physically abusive the same as most. I think that in all cases, the person doing the hitting is hurting as well. i.e. 'Hurt people hurt people'. As a result, I tend to feel compassion for them as well as the person being hit. I share that so you will perhaps trust me that I am not attacking you.

But here's the thing: you can't change her behavior but you can change yours. You can address this with a therapist but please do address this. If she had called the police when these incidents occurred, you likely would have gone to jail - regardless of how serious you may have thought it was.

Don't worry about the marriage right now. Worry about yourself. If you don't take care of you - there will be no marriage anyway.