Thank you all very much. Today a homecare attendant came for 4 hours, while I went off to do errands. It made the world of difference. This particular attendant is very resonsible, so my mind was completely at ease during those 4 hours. Getting set up with a schedule of attendants coming to my bf's home is a process that I'm still working out. But today felt so great that I'm more hopeful this eve and getting into a much better frame of mind.

My friend now has the Medicaid Waiver for home based care and the V.A. pension for Aid and Attendance. So substantial help is waiting in the wings. But getting both programs up and running for us is a big involved process. (Intake interviews, comprehensive need assessments, recruiting satisfactory home care workers, etc.) Most of that is done now. I guess I just need to be patient a little longer and help will be forthcoming.

My bf treated me to dinner out today and we relaxed over that. As I drove us home, he just reached over and held my hand sweetly. I have to remember that he has lost some ability to verbalize what he feels due to brain changes. Sometimes, I just need to calm down and not react strongly to every little irritation.

I think I'm going to pull out of this tailspin before it gets worse. I do need to literally scedule into my "To Do" list some pleasant activities/diversions that I like. It will be okay, now, I think.