I haven't posted here in so long nor have I been here in a while. I recently moved to a new country and am still trying to get into the Medical system for my BPD. I finally got my appointments! Next week though, but in the meantime, I feel my meds aren't working. I feel I've lost my sense of how to cope. I feel my emotions are so big I feel them physically again. Does anyone ever feel like this? Does anyone here feel their emotions physically also? Like they are so big inside you, your body and skin can feel them too.

I wake up every day to a new "personality" in my head because my emotions are so big and everywhere. It's tiring in itself because I never know what I'll feel each day I wake.

I'm also not used to living with people. I live with 4 other people in this house. I try so hard every day to keep to myself because if I don't, I will probably just burst into tears or say something impulsively like I always do.

I often miss living alone. Some parts of me feel living alone was better for me than living with people because I trigger so easily when my environment is constantly surrounded by people. Why do I trigger so easily? And I don't mean to have these triggers. They just happen.

I journal daily. I try so hard to self reflect and get my head right, but it is a constant battle. I've become exhausted in this fight.

I'm reaching out today mostly for validation of these feelings. I need to know I'm not alone in this daily fight in my head. I need to know that what I'm going through other people can understand.