It really upsets me that you are going through this. I've been in bad situations, I've had total meltdowns, but what you are going through sounds like a living nightmare. It sounds like my worst nightmare, like where any of us can end up. But the world doesn't seem to believe it's possible.

Life seems to have dealt you a difficult hand. I'm not a doctor, but if you're laughing like a maniac at these things, that's not healthy either. However, take a deep breath. Laughing at the insanity in a normal way, finding the absurd humor in this side of life is just about all that gets me through right now.

Do you write at all? I mean, you're a great writer, from reading your post. Try to just relax a little (or not) and start writing about how ridiculous it is. Try to find some of the wild details that are just surreal and unbelievable.

You are not bringing this on yourself. Just as someone with Tourette's isn't responsible for shouting out obscenities, just as someone in a wheelchair isn't able to enter certain places without wheelchair access, I'm trying to find a term for our "disability."

Well, OK, we are Bipolar. I hate the term mentally ill. I can't find the word, but it is a disability that is recognized by the Government and by the medical profession.

One definition of disability is, it "prevents a person from living a full, normal life..." But people just don't get it.

You will get better. You're healthy enough to describe everything in your post.