Quote:
Originally Posted by xRavenx
I miss feeling euphoric, as I do during hypomania. I look back and logically know that these experiences were not healthy and resulted in damage emotionally and financially, but I still cannot stop craving the experiences I had during the height of hypomania and that feeling of being so on top of the world and excited for the future.
I know it gives me a skewed view of what it means to be truly healthy and happy, but I can't stop myself from grieving the times where I felt good as a result of hypomania. I suspect that I don't know what it feels like to feel happiness without the hypomania....maybe. Which is bad since I know the happiness I felt while hypomanic was just an illusion. Basically, lately I'm addicted to feeling that rush that I would get while "up," in spite of its consequences. I regret those decisions, but crave the high feeling.
For those of you who can relate, what helps you cope with these feelings?
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I feel like that every moment of my existence when I am not hypo. There is no feeling in the world which will ever compare to that. I am unmedicated so knowing that sooner or later I will be hypomanic again helps me cope.
In my non hypo depressed phase which lasts almost 6-9 months I try and stay afloat by exercising , playing snooker and doing anything which gives me a sense of accomplishment.
I wont lie, it is hard. Really ****ing hard. But its the price youve gotta pay if you wanna experience hypomania.