I am getting 6 hours of sleep a night or less, which is like none. I know all the right things to do, so I'm going to have to be aggressive about doing them. Although I have prescriptions for sleep aids the one that works the best makes me drowsy the next day which is not an option most days. The only thing I can cut is screen time: no Facebook, psych central, healing from bpd newsletter , text messaging my boyfriend , Netflix after 8:30pm. Period. The only thing that is allowed is ASMR or meditation videos. My daughter may not be home. My boyfriend and I may be fighting. Doesn't matter. I have to embrace the loneliness of single motherhood with a teenager who may or may not come home from work or not either high or not on time. Those are the immutable facts of my life. Sleep habits are not an abstraction . They are a reality. I may have to go back on the seroquel and fight thru the drowsiness. After all that's what my nurse told me to do. For sleep. I'm feeling way too much sadness to have it hit me like a wall of water when I lay down to sleep. If I need to take the seroquel at night to turn off the emotions and be in bed for 9 hours so I have 30 min to fall asleep and thirty minutes to wake up, so be it. I need to start this. Tonight. Doesn't matter that I have to go to church tomorrow. This state of being is utterly unacceptable to me. So if I'm tired and dropping tears in church tomorrow so be it. It's no secret I have PTSD.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk