I miss the euphoria but i get so unrealistic and reckless financially that i'm glad i haven't had one in over a year and am hopefully done with them. I feel such crippling shame afterwards -- it's not worth it. And nearly bankrupting myself is too dangerous. Crashing was always extremely painful too. I know it's great to be on top of the world but i'll accept a less stimulating life to avoid the pitfalls -- no contest.