Quote:
Originally Posted by granite1
i have been writing in my journal trying to put some thought into what i want to do about the mother situation trying to decide what is best for me when i have no idea what that would be . can i live with the guilt i would feel if i cut all contact with her . i did that for many years in the past. when i had my son i started talking to her again. i wanted him to have some family . she had never been really mean to him until now . the other option is to keep her in my life and deal with the chaos . she will never abide by my boundaries and will never change . but being who i am i will know i have done my best and that will curb the guilt . and she will be taken care of .
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I can so relate. Mine now has Alzheimer's and not yet in a secure living situation, so the daily stress, combined with off/on abusive behavior and delusions is hell. I never know, from day to day, what kind of scene I'm going to walk in on. I had a friend tell me that some people make decisions early in life that determine what happens later--in other words, not to feel guilty about making other arrangements for my mother because she has set her own table by past actions. I think that's pretty good advice. Not saying I'm there yet, but I'm working toward it.