Quote:
Originally Posted by IceCreamKid
I want to comment on this one thing that your wife said and offer some advice, which of course you do not have to take, but it is offered with the best intentions:
"they will be ok after we separate"
You and your children deserve better than this. Tell that selfish woman you've been patient and supportive of her and her needs long enough and it is past time that those little children are put FIRST.
It would be in the best interests of small children to have parents together, but if that isn't possible they should live near each other. Small children want and need to see both of their parents often. Tell this woman you expect her to remain an active part of their lives. Give serious thought to where and with whom the children should live. Mommy might not be the right choice as the residential parent.
I think this is so important that I would purposefully drag my feet on a divorce, just to force her to go to counseling with me to make healthy arrangements for the children--and I'd have no problem telling her that, either. I believe you would benefit from individual counseling too, to help you develop healthy boundaries and personal expectations and how to meet them. By the way, whatever she has done for herself, you could do for yourself: get more education, get a better job, etc.
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I agree. However, she will not go to counseling and I have begged her to work on our marriage for the kids. She has already made her mind up and refuses. I do not trust her at anything anymore and do not think she has a connection with her children like a normal mother should have. Her actions over the past 4 weeks have been nothing but lies and deception. She has shown no concern for how the kids will handle any of this plus she is passing up an opportunity to see her youngest son after being gone for 5 weeks just so she can spend the weekend with the other guy. I decided I am not going to wait on a divorce. I am going to file soon so I can start making plans for my future and my kids.
As for myself, I already have a BS in Computer Science, work remotely, make more then she does with her new job and I honestly could be making a lot more if I find something better, which I plan to do. I have an appointment to see a counselor later this week. I have been thinking of my options over the past few days. My plan is to love and take care of my kids as much as possible. Her and I agree to share them 50/50. If I end up with them more, that is fine. Rather them be with me then with her if she really is not that interested in them. Over the next few months, I am going to look for a better job that pays more and I can meet new people. Eventually I will buy a house so I can have a nice home for my kids.