I have a family member who has a lot of paranoid fears. These fears have resulted in a lot of isolation for the person, who has an incredibly hard time trusting almost everyone. They don't see that they are living in fear (obviously), and they think that everyone else is to blame. They believe that other people are slandering them, coming into their house when they're not home (when nothing's missing), etc. It's difficult. Even though the person generally trusts me, they think that I could be slandering them, too. On the contrary, I'm extra careful about what I say about this person, out of my love and concern for them.

It's really difficult to communicate with this person. Almost every conversation is laced with this fear in some form or fashion. And every time they talk, they start telling stories about things that other people have done to them, and talking about their theories of what other people are doing. And "advising" me on how to live my life in light of their theories. I dread talking with them, but I love this person and want to continue pursuing connection with them. This person has been hurt enough in life, and even though I know I can't "fix" them, I do believe that it is my job to be there for them and show them my love as best as I can. Even if they never change. They don't believe that they have a problem, and at least right now, they won't consider therapy.

All that said, do any of you have some tips for communicating with people with paranoid fears? Especially if you've had experience in this area before? Such as, subtly redirecting conversations away from negative topics? Responding to false allegations? Showing them that you care about them without reinforcing their false beliefs, since directly disagreeing with them only arouses suspicion? Strategies for spending time together without having to get into these conversations?