Thank you everyone for your replies.
So I was at work today and T calls to 'touch base' with me. I wasn't at my desk :-(. An hour later she calls again and said she'd tried to reach me at home last night :-). (I'm hard of hearing and I often don't hear the phone; last night I was trying to rest and have to take my hearing aid out when I lay down).
So we 'touched base' at work, where I can't talk and she knows I can't and acknowledged that. So sweet of her, calling and knowing she'd have to do most the talking since I have no privacy. She acknowledged how distressed I sounded when I called her Tuesday night and reminded me of our session next Tuesday where we'd talk about the things I said in my calls, and to call her if there's anything i want to talk about before Tuesday.
While working today, I was thinking of these meltdowns I have.... My siblings say that as a kid I was a brat.
News to me!

But I was thinking of temper tantrums brats have, though I don't remember though having temper tantrums as a kid in the way I picture a temper tantrum of a kid. But as a teen and young adult I used to have a very huge explosive anger problem/rages. I thought of how both are about the inability to tolerate frustration, inability to express needs/wants, and inability to express (or even name) emotions. So... my meltdowns... maybe are a kind of tantrum? EWWW isn't that a dreadfully embarrassing thought?! But.. when I made those associations... I began to feel better, calmer.... usually the dead giveaway that I've struck the bullseye or near.
What to you think?
And yeah I will tell T