(((HUGS)))
I feel ur pain. my "episodes" of depression last for yrs w/o much of any relief Atm...I am close to my baseline (being like subbasement level for me)..than I have been in over idk at least 6yrs??..
It's terrible having unrelenting depression..even worse bc the general population view of depression is that it's "common", something everyone struggles with at some point...and there seems to be such a bad misconception- that if you have depression, you can just go to the doc and get some ADs and talk to a therapist and within a couple of months be right back to regular life.... it's Not the Flu!! ...the reality is that most of us who suffer from depression regardless of the severity and length of episodes....we never truly beat it. Depression (unless situational or post partum both of which can happen to anyone and may only occur once) is a lifelong illness So, at least for myself, I know that even when I have a period of some relief...it's still there. It's almost worse sometimes, cuz it's like I'm holding my breathe in dread just waiting for the "inevitable other shoe to drop" The best coping skills I have learned are to try to be in the moment as much as possible, so I'm not ruminating and catastrophizing and can occasionally actually enjoy those moments, hrs, days, months....yrs??*I wish!** of any relief. Idk what I'm trying to say...sorry if that just turned into a random rant...