(((Hugs))) PLANT!!!
A couple of things....
1. If you are 30 now, you most likely still have at least 10-15 more yrs that you can biologically conceive.
2. There is NO perfect time, financial state, situation, or mental state to decide to have a child! Life is messy! A child changes your life forever, so no matter how "perfectly planned" or "100% OOPS!"....it is equally unpredictable...usually in an amazingly good way
3. Please do not allow, your upbringing, others opinions, and or parenting with mental health articles to deter you..if you want to be a mom, that is.
4. Also the opposite, if you decide that having children is not for you..don't allow other's or society's opinions to make you feel guilty about whatever path you choose..there is no one right way to live...only what makes sense to you, is in line with your personal values, and makes you feel happy and fullfilled.
5. As far as your hubbie goes...well, idk him or your relationship or his mindset on children...but if you want kids, hopefully he is open to this...if not, we'll then it's your decision..either you care more about being his wife, as he is, without kids...or you care more about being a mom...if the second is true for you...then you don't need to be married or involve a man at all to be a great mom...and if he can not change his mindset at all...then he's probably not someone who you would want to father your child anyways...cuz kids can do just fine w/o a dad, but an unwilling, distant, angry, resentful dad...that will screw a kid up!!
Hope you figure out what you want
p.s. I never thought I wanted kids either...but ended up pregnant young...I was terrified. Everything about the situation couldn't have been more wrong...but for some reason..I couldn't go thru w/ the abortion and explored adoption and didn't feel right...I was so scared but somewhere inside I knew what was right for me, but couldn't or didn't realize my truth fully until about 2wks till due date....when I woke up that morning and just knew. Knew I wanted my child. Knew I wanted to be a mom...told everyone else including my abusive ex who was the father...told everyone who was toxic or pushing me to give my child up or just negative...told them all where they could go and how exactly they could get there! ...Has it been perfect? No. If I could go back and not have/keep my baby, would I change my mind knowing all of the struggles ahead??? Not A Chance In H***!!