I'm worried about myself, my boyfriend, and my relationship. I'm not quite sure how I should understand all this. Not only that, but my boyfriend is not like anyone I've known well before.

My boyfriend is extremely quiet, and I first assumed this relationship would be not good for me. He didn't show any interest in knowing my family, showed very little in knowing my friends, and he had great difficulty showing me that he was interested in knowing me. We carried along initially by our similar personality and interests. We did have good conversations, felt very at ease around each other, and I liked his good moral values, hardworking nature, and what seemed to be strong empathy. However, his quietness around me and slow return of messages had me worried.

I eventually learned from the people who knew him, and also his family, that he was intensely quiet and kind of rude. He acted much better with me, and I was told that he definitely loved me, and that he never acted this way with anyone else before. Obviously I was touched and many of my fears decreased. I felt very happy for proof that what I thought I saw wasn't just a fantasy. He even told me a few times himself that he felt this way.

However, he still acts very aloof much of the time except for when we're alone and hanging out together. My worries occasionally flair up to a point that I think he really doesn't love me. For example, he leaves a lot on my shoulders, and I often have to ask for help from him. I usually take care of everything from bills to shopping to cleaning. He does honestly help out sometimes, but it worries me that I have to complain first. At least he pays his part for things. Sometimes I do most of the paying because I always tend to do that. I'm the type who likes to make things easier on people. He definitely isn't your "typical" boyfriend, though. He doesn't buy random gifts of affection or do anything kind of cheesy to express his love. I don't mind. I very occasionally do those things, though.

I don't really mind all of this. I've complained to him, and had a few deep, emotional talks where I admitted that I sometimes don't think he cares about me. He's usually very saddened by this and we talk it all out. He has a good, logical way of not assuming too much and not just saying he does care and I have to believe him. He's really good at hearing me out, but he has a great amount of difficulty knowing what to say and gets frustrated with himself.

After our talks, he usually does make noticeable changes in helping me out more.

One way he shows affection is cuddling up with me pretty much daily. That's his only way, really, of showing affection daily. Sometimes we'll have a good conversation when we're alone and make a lot of jokes.

He spends a lot of time alone. He'll lock himself away for hours, which I always thought was okay. Sometimes I get lonely knowing he's in the same building as me (we live together) but I don't get to see him. I can knock on his door and talk a bit, but usually he spends most of the day alone. If I want to go to a concert or something, he always says no when I ask if he wants to come along. He doesn't like crowds, but I feel a bit bad he doesn't go with me. At least he tends to go with me to some places like malls, even if he really doesn't like it.

How would other people see this relationship? I'd just like some perspective. He's definitely very quiet and doesn't show a lot of love, except for cuddling. Sometimes he acts outright uncaring about me when we're out in public. He won't say a word and act a bit rude, even a bit passive aggressive. It's gets some pent-up feelings of unhappiness from me.