I am attracted to my pdoc and I know that if I had had anything close to your experience I would be an emotional mess. If I were ever intimate with him, it would be even worse. I think this is the only reason I stay with him- because he doesn't go there, doesn't encourage anything and I know any fantasy will stay a fantasy. If there were any confusion it would be the opposite of what I need in my life. I hope you know deep down that his "iron willpower" has nothing to do with how he feels about you but how he feels about his career. It means he is a normal, mentally healthy person. Anyone else is a predator with no self control who doesn't deserve to work with other people. If he has discussed this with colleagues then he will not become intimate with you - someone will eventually report him (it doesn't have to be you). I've seen it happen and it no small issue - it will most definitely end his career. I am surprised he hasn't referred you out under the circumstances, but I think that says a lot about your relationship and how much he cares for you. I just hope you can transfer your feelings for him to someone that is more available to you. I also hope he encourages this and doesn't subconsciously discourage it to keep you focused on him.