Quote:
Originally Posted by mnnc
I agree. However, she will not go to counseling and I have begged her to work on our marriage for the kids. She has already made her mind up and refuses. I do not trust her at anything anymore and do not think she has a connection with her children like a normal mother should have. Her actions over the past 4 weeks have been nothing but lies and deception. She has shown no concern for how the kids will handle any of this plus she is passing up an opportunity to see her youngest son after being gone for 5 weeks just so she can spend the weekend with the other guy. I decided I am not going to wait on a divorce. I am going to file soon so I can start making plans for my future and my kids.
As for myself, I already have a BS in Computer Science, work remotely, make more then she does with her new job and I honestly could be making a lot more if I find something better, which I plan to do. I have an appointment to see a counselor later this week. I have been thinking of my options over the past few days. My plan is to love and take care of my kids as much as possible. Her and I agree to share them 50/50. If I end up with them more, that is fine. Rather them be with me then with her if she really is not that interested in them. Over the next few months, I am going to look for a better job that pays more and I can meet new people. Eventually I will buy a house so I can have a nice home for my kids.
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I say stop begging her. 50/50 sharing is a poor idea if one parent does not really want to be a parent. There are some women who really don't want to be mothers, and some women who have difficulty dealing with young children, but can relate fine to older ones, etc. You have to wonder about this man she is chasing after if he is cool with her abandoning her family which includes very young children. Do you really want your children with him 50 percent of the time? I say sit down and make a good plan for the children and that might mean that they live with you and go to school from your home. She could see them one evening a week, every other weekend, and at all their school plays, etc and on a holiday schedule that works for all of you (and not just her) and for part of the summer. I do not suggest you agree to her having the children all summer. You will miss out on many fun days with them without the stress of school, and if she is as uninvolved a parent as you say, she'll emotionally neglect them then, too. My point wasn't to question your education; my suggestion was to encourage you to pour the same love and devotion into
yourself and your well-being (which in turn benefits the children) that you poured into this woman who now wants to walk away from her commitments and responsibilities.