So... In theory... The idea is that if you figure out why you have the sexual fantasies then that can help you see them as understandable so that you don't feel so embarrassed / ashamed / whatever about having them. (In theory of course lol).

I've been really surprised at reading case studies of erotic (or eroticised) transference too. The things people say to their therapists! It is just that it can give you an idea of the dynamics behind the desire...

The porcupine analogy was pretty good... I guess your therapists take is that the sexual fantasies are about a desire for intimacy... But there is a fear of intimacy as well (hence the embarrassment).

I guess I was wondering... Whether the sexual fantasies were about intimacy... Or whether they were about control... Or quite what they were about. Trouble is that that depends a great deal on the content of the fantasies. But trouble is that damned if I'm going to share the content of the fantasies with my therapist lol. I haven't talked about sex much with him at all. Just to the extent that I told him that I told Mr Man that I'd need things to go slow... Then the next week t said something to the effect that he didn't think we were sleeping together... And I kind of said 'oh, that was last week' then I blushed and we both changed the subject (or I sure as hell did and he played along okay).

Lol